yes, an interview with me, done by Ed, drummer of the illustrious Shades Apart. around late 1995

ED- Aside from ShadesApart, what was your first motivation to become involved with running a fanzine?
ME- Well ed, i saw the other zine editors getting all the chicks and drugs and scenester status and thought "hey, why not me?!" it was only later that i realized that it was actually Shades Apart that i saw getting all that and someone told me they did a zine "or something." so actually aside from Shades, i think it was the sheer boredom of high school.

ED- Is it what you expected? What's the most tiresome task? it is hard to maintain your statis as the reigning king of absolutely nothing?
ME- at this point, it is much harder than i thought. most tiresome task? finding a cover! or maybe making the homemade pies that i send out with each issue. or maybe never getting my interviews back and having to write new ones all the time. but probably it is fighting off all the chicks that come along with being a zine editor.

ED- Other than ShadesApart, who do you think are the bands to watch in the nest year? to sell out or just that are good?
ME- Well, One Nature are very rad. Pennywise will get huge i bet. Jawbreaker too. other good, little known bands: Blink are incredible. uummmm... Plow will explode i bet. The Teen Idols are incredible. i dunno.

ED- What inspired you to name your zine Annoyance? Is it some kind of statement or just a funny name? Zines are annoying, so it makes a great statement. How about a spinoff called "Dull and contrived" or a sXe companion called called "preaching to the Choir."
ME- The name is because my friend and i started it as just junk we were into. and my brother always called us the Pee Wee Patrol, we embraced the name, and the credo "born to annoy, live to annoy, annoy to destroy!" so the logical extension is to name our zine Annoyance. plus it is a cool punk rock last name so i can get more chicks that way. so it is some sort of a statement at this point cuz people get annoyed at my questions and junk. overall, i'd say it is a funny name, yeah. perhaps i shall spin off into that preaching to the choir thing, or integrate it in my zine. good idea, eddie! then i can get the sXe chicks too.

ED- A word about Rhubarb and Wombats.
ME- just one huh? that is hard, cuz there are just so many words in the english language, that picking just one to embody all that "rhubarb" and "wombat" mean is a very difficult task. even the most academic linguistic would have a rough time with that, so i will just say a few words about them and leave it at that, expanding on the one word that you suggested, if that is alright. Rhubarb is just an awesome vegetable, often overlooked. rhubarb and strawberry pie just rocks the world, plain and simple. plus rhubarb is such a cool word. how often do you see the letter r and h right next to each other. a fine combination, in my mind. wombats- well, no one ever knew what one was, or what it looked like, as it is a very often overlooked animal. somewhat the rhubarb of the animal world, ya know? so i wanted to see what bands thought they looked like. something to do, ya know? i have gotten some rad drawings too.

ED- Your responses seem a tad misogynistic. Did you experience any childhood trauma? Do you feel threatened by a lack of masculinity, compensating with this "Zine Don Juan" edifice? Do punkrock girls or HC betties make better lovers?
ME- Childhood trauma? Well, yeah, that is what drove me to this punk rock lifestyle in the first place. Having mayonaise thrown at me on the bus everyday for years really scars a kid, ya know? kids can be so cruel....Lack of masculinity? nah. I am a man! hear me draw X's on my hands! HC vs Punk rock girls. wouldn't know actually, i got the edge ya know.but personally i think HC girls are much cutier and younger. i like em young. =)

ED- Do you want fries with that?
ME- yes, please, as long as they are fried in non-animal fat and the kid making them does not eat jello on thursdays and the manager does drink snapple. then it is ok.

ED- You've been called a "sellout" for signing to Atlantic and leaving your progeny label, Epitaph. How do you counter these criticisms? What will your new album, "Stranger than Fiction," hold for long-time fans?
ME- simple cash man. we needed it, we got it. had enough of this silly "indie punk" thing. now that there is cash to be made, we are gonna be the ones to make it. what do you think "into the unknown" was about? new wave was getting big, we tried it. now punk, we've done that, now we can get the money for doing it. the new album will sound pretty much the same as every other album we have done. it has always worked for us before, why change? it will have a famous guy or two on backing vocals so we can sell even more records though..

ED- White or red with fish?
ME- Ya know, i just wrote a computer program to do that. it depends on the kind of fish (shell or non-shell), the flavor (bland or non-bland), and several other factors. i'd say white in general though.

ED- What zines do you like?
ME- zines suck! they are dumb. well, read my zine reviews section and see for yourself. any thing that isn't full size or glossy or has lotsof pictures.

ED- Aside from Shades Apart, what's the worst cover you've heard?
ME- worst cover? hmmm... the j Church cover of the police is quite bad although people love it. oh well.

ED- What would be your dream issue?
ME- interviews (where people actually answer the questions i ask) with the Descendents, Shades Apart (an actual interview), and Green Day and Ian McKaye at the same time. Reviews of records i got for free that i really think are good. good columns by me for once.and on time.
ED- Any sweepstakes plans? Boosts circulation and Ed McMahon needs work.

ME- hmm.. i will think about it.... maybe. we shall see.
ED-Where did you get that hip new "from" address?

ME- i forgot already. something to do with alien aircraft, macaroni and cheese and Fortran '77.

ED- What zines were some of your formative influences?
ME- i dunno. i never really read zines until i did mine. i guess early Greedy Bastard, MRR, and some NJ zines that I forget.

ED- How do you get along with other Jersey zines and who are some of your favorites to be read with?
ME- They all hate me i think. i liked to get read with Stranjer and Shoelace, but they are both gone. Drift In Bliss like rocks and stuff. Gunk is cool, but should come out more, in my opinion.

ED- What do you think of the Krishna factor in hardcore (obligatory, stock question)?
ME- Good haircuts, that is about it. Blue people are cool too.

ED- Is there too much decaf in Starbuck's?
ME- Yeah, definitely. they have that at my school. needs lots of sugar.

ED- Oprah... Uma.
ME- Oprah.........ummmmm aaaaaa.. talk show lady.

ED- There's a lot of talk about "DIY" these days. Blah, blah blah, blah blah (obligatory, stock question).
ME- It is just a trendy hoax to get chicks. for me at least.

ED- I recently saw one of your shirts at the boardwalk for $20 and I read you only pressed 102 copies of "The Storm" in order to jack up the prices. How do you defend yourself against charges of gluttony?
ME- gluttony is what SxE is all about. well, that and swingsets, but mostly gluttony. actually i pressed 500 of "The Storm" but only released 102 to my fan club members at a special price. I go to shows and sell the rest of the copies now (4 years later) for very high prices since people only think there are 102 copies.

ED- I see a lot of zines getting on the internet. Do you consider them Johnny-Come-Latelys?
ME- nah, just trying to cash in on the trend. the information superhighwaynonsense is the buzz-word-bin of the moment. it gets chicks, ya know?

ED- I saw you close a show with "Colin Sears Interview" in Hoboken, then do "Lagwagon" as an encore. Do you get many requests for these?
ME- not really. since "Colin sears Interview" is still not available on a legitimate release, only my real fans know about it. "lagwagon" i get some requests for, but ya know, it is no "J Church" or "Shades Apart"

ED- Have I taken this joke far enough, or could I stretch it another hundred yards?
ME- that is your call, young eddie. all up to your whims. you crazy punk you! ps i don't suppose you guys are ever gonna answer the questions i sent you about 2 years ago?

ED- Your newest zine (winter, 1994) was quite a departure from your earlier works. Why the change?
ME- um, i didn't do a winter, 1994 issue, but if i had, it would have been because there just aren't enough swing sets in punk these days, ya know? and the metal is junk disappearing, sadly.

ED- Will you be touring on this new zine?
ME- Yes, i am currently touring the internet (as we speak even) and may actually get out of this chair and tour the post office soon.

ED- What do you think of other zine that have signed on to majors? Would you ever do this?
ME- They like suck and stuff! selling-out just does no good for the scene man! you are stabbing in the back those that brought you to that status. and when the trend passes, there will be nothing to return to!

ED- What have been some of your zine's best shows? Do you have a guarentee?
ME- well, back in '85 i did a show, it was so intense, classic old school, ya know? total unity, as one we stood together, we walked together AND rocked together, we fought the narrow minds, my old man was a fatso, we had to fight, fight, fight to unite. just great, not like today, all this violence and disunity, not like back in the day. well, yeah, i do have a guarentee, but if i come out and junk, i gotta pay for expenses, ya know? deli platters for all my friends too, they came a long way. those sharpie markers cost a lot, and these X`s never run, so...well, you know.