lanemeyer, rocking out in that pop-punk style with some definite emo influences. formed from the ashes of Congress of Cow and whatever bands Sean and Rob were in. their debut cd just came out on Red Leader Records, so check it out and smile. stink-ily enough, a bunch of the interview didn't get recorded since my tape recorder was set for voice start/stop so it cut in and out a lot. i tried to recollect what i could but may have messed up a bit.

SO WHAT THE HECK DOES THE NAME MEAN?
Mr Food- it is just from the movie, "Better Off Dead"
THAT"S WHAT I THOUGHT, BUT NO ONE BELIEVED ME!

HOW DID TOUR GO?
Chris- great until we broke down in Indiana.
Sean- the shows were awesome. we were lucky, we got on a couple big shows. so there were people at them.
Chris- so we junked it for 50 bucks in some hicktown.
Mr Food- it sucked cuz we had bought brand new tires that day too cuz we had a flat the night before. we were on tour with Saturday Supercade, great band, great guys.
Rob- they rock, they are the awesome-est guys.
Mr Food- so we paid $700 for a Ryder truck and when we went to a show in a Ryder truck, everyone thought we were rock stars.
Sean- yeh, we used it for two Jersey shows.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF NEW JERSEY THESE DAYS?
Mr Food- I like it a lot better since we went out.
Rob- i never had Jersey pride until i visited Lowell, Massachusetts, the biggest crack town in the United States.
Chris- I think it was really good a while ago, like a long time ago.
Mr Food- i think it is re-building. north jersey is really cool cuz a lot of kids go to shows.
Sean- down here is kind of weird, like it's always the same 10 kids.
Mr Food- South Jersey is like, they stare at you, like the whole time while you are playing, they give you this face like you are horrible and then they buy shirts.
Rob- south jersey rocks!
Sean- i'd just like to point out that if it was not for these kids, we would not even have a band, so...

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?
Sean- chicken
Mr Food- yeh, sean was a vegetarian until yesterday.
Chris- i hate breakfast. i have a banana and an apple every morning, but that's really not breakfast.Rob- a bowl of cereal, followed by a can of tuna fish cuz i wake up at the time people are normally eating lunch.
Mr Food- i don't know what i eat for breakfast...
Rob- Doyle just loves food, he's Mr Food.
Mr Food- i like cereal, that's about it, that's all i eat.

WHAT WAS YOUR WORST SHOW EVER?
Rob- on tour, Meadville, PA, where all the guys were really mean and all the girls were really nice. we played awesome but it was the freakiest town in the whole country. this guy spit on me and stuff and i didn't like it.
Mr Food- i second that. but actually that was an alright show. the worst show was some Church. we got to play 2 songs. it was Bigwig's farewell show before tour. and the band after us played like a 20 minute set, we won't name any names though. but we got paid our 250 guarantee and we had our vegetable plate and naked pictures of Bea Arthur.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT TO THE HOSPITAL AND WHAT WAS IT FOR?
Mr Food- chris would like to tell a good story!
Chris- i got like this diarrhea problem that i get all the time. so i went to the doctor and he was like "yeh, i have to take a stool sample." so i turn around and he sticks his finger in my @ss! and this guy, he is this short fat man so he has really stubby fingers. he went up there and he just did not stop for a while and i was like "uuuuhhhhhh." and then he had a stool sample. he said i was fine. i said "no, i'm not, i still have diarrhea dude!" i couldn't look him in the eye afterwards either. it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. i was walking funny. he lubed his finger all up so it took me forever to wipe it out.
Rob- that really wasn't a story i really wanted to hear again.
Mr Food- my last time, i broke my leg in fourth grade and then i got really fat. that's why they call me Mr Food now. but i lost a lot of weight in tenth grade and now i am a twig. and then there is Sean.
Sean- the only finger up my @ss is Rob.
Chris- i have to go back to the hospital next week. my mom said i had to go. cuz i was sick when i was little, i had a cyst and stuff. so i have to get a camera up my butt and down my throat and i'm going to watch it.
Rob- stay tuned for the anal probe live video on our web page.
Chris- i'm going to actually record it, i'm going to bring it.
Mr Food- it's going to be sound bites for the next record.
Rob- last time i was in the hospital, i hurt my shoulder riding my bike.
Mr Food- our friend just went to the hospital because he ripped the balls off the sides of his foot. he was skateboarding yesterday and he ripped ankle off.
Rob- the two balls off of his ankle. his name's Bob & he's really cool.
Sean- that can be my story because i can't remember the last time i went to the hospital.
Rob- so that was SEAN who broke his ankle skateboarding!
Sean- no, it was Bob. is there any wood around here? is this made of wood? (pointing to the amp he is sitting on) i haven't been to the hospital in a really, really long time, i can't remember the last time. *knocks on a wood-like substance*

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FAMILY MEMBER AND WHY?
Mr Food- mine is definitely not my mom, she is making me pay $300 a month to live with her. and let me tell you, paying $300 to live with your momjust isn't cool. but i have to do it for awhile.
Rob- my grandma, she cooks me dinner every Monday.
Sean- my mom is my favorite. she lets me live at her house and lets me have a roommate and she helps out the band a lot. she'll like loan us money when we need it and we'll pay her back.
Chris- i love my whole family, they're great.
Rob- i love chris' dad, cuz his name is Mustachio.
Chris- do you know how he butters corn?! he puts butter on his mustache and rolls the corn over it.
Sean- can we all have a moment of silence for Chris's dog?
Chris- i didn't want to talk about that! way to bring the mood down!
Mr Food- sean is really out of the band this time. anthony you're in.
Sean- thank you, my life can get back to normal! thank you!

WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT, YOU OR GWAR?
Mr Food- oh man! have you ever seen Gwar play?
NO, SADLY I ALWAYS MISS IT. ONE DAY THOUGH...
Sean- i went to a show the day after Gwar played a show and there was all Gwar-Stuff on the ceiling.
Mr Food- they put on a really good show. actually we are going to become like Gwar, we're going to start dressing up.
YEH, YOU REALLY SHOULD, FINE PLAN.
Mr Food- and then we're going to shove probes up our @ss.
Sean- and we're going to have a video camera on the end of the thing so people can watch it.
Rob- i think if we could get like one extra person, like a roadie, a roadie and a merch person, i think we could win.
Chris- i dunno, did you ever play the Beavis and Butthead game, at the end you go to the Gwar concert?
NOPE, NEVER HEARD OF IT EVEN.
Sean- are they big guys underneath those costumes, that's what i want to know.
Mr Food- they look pretty skinny. they wear really big helmets, but they are skinny guys.
Sean- if Doyle jumped on you of their back and was biting on their ears or something we could pull it off...
Mr Food- sean, don't bring up the ears.
Rob- we could win if my girlfriend fought in my place.
Mr Food- yeh, Rob's girlfriend is a black belt.
Sean- i think i could take one or two of ‘em. Chris would go "oooaawwawww, get away!"
Chris- that's exactly what i'd do, thanks Sean!
Rob- ever notice how everything is funny until Sean does it?

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FORMER CHILD ACTOR/ACTRESS?
Rob- do cartoons count? Penny from Inspector Gadget! first crush ever! i was 4 buddy.
Sean- oh my god, you are a loser!
Mr Food- all i am gonna say is the Different Stroke VH1 special is on tonite. kimberley is on crack, you can tell. that whole family was. that's my favorite child actors. and sam, he became a crack addict.
Chris- no Sam's not a crack addict, he's Budnick on "Salute Your Shorts."
Rob- dude, dude, no, he has the worst mullet.
Mr Food- yeh, in Terminator 2 he had the worst mullet.
Sean- i can't think of a good child character.
Rob- Punky Brewster.
Mr Food- she went to hell now though.
Sean- we used to have her phone number, i think she lived in NJ. and one of my friend called her on the phone. i dunno what happened though, i forgot.
Mr Food- now she looks awful, she was in "Ernest Saves Christmas"
Sean- the chick from "Full House," you know, Jesse's wife? she was in "Rad." can that count cuz i can't think of anything else?
SURE, WHY NOT?
Rob- and nicole kidman was in "BMX Bandits."
Chris- yeh dude, i am like the only other person in the world who has seen that movie. you ever see that movie?
OH YEH! I WATCHED IT LIKE 30 TIMES! I WOULD TAPE IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, I'D GET UP WHENEVER THEY PLAYED IT ON CABLE.
Chris- really?! i thought no one else knew it.
Mr Food- i used to watch it when i was like little.
Rob- that's like an australian movie right?
Sean- Rad and BMX Bandits...
INDEED, THOSE 2 AND "GLEAMING THE CUBE"
Mr Food- can i ask you a question? what's your favorite 80s movie?
GOTTA GO WITH "ONE CRAZY SUMMER."
Mr Food- ooo! i saw the best one the other day... wait, "Back To School" was on Comedy Central... "Real Genius!' that's it!
Sean- do you feel that "Say Anything" is part of the John Cusack triology?
NO, NOT REALLY... FINE FILM BUT JUST DIFFERENT MOOD.
Sean- i don't think so either, but some people do and i have to disagree with them.
Chris- i don't think that was that good of a movie.
Sean- i likedit, it's just not among the best John Cusack movies.

WHAT WAS YOUR BEST PET EVER?
Chris- the one that died. no, i'm kidding. she was deaf and blind, so...
Sean- yeh and Rob was yelling at it
Rob- i was yelling at his deaf dog because it can't hear and i'm like "BJ! BJ!," i was screaming at it and Chris's mom is like "Rob, what are you doing?" and i was like "uuhhh, nothing."
Sean- my dogs now rock. my dog Cleo...
Chris- every time they run away you tell me, you get all happy...
Mr Food- my favorite is my cat Oliver, if you hate cats, you will love this cat! you go up to it, you push it, it rolls over and just goes like "ah." then it attacks you, but...
Chris- and when you are sleeping on the floor he crawls under the covers and goes all around. you'll be having a dream and all of a sudden this cat will come next to you and you're like "oooo!"
Rob- my favorite pet is sean's dog Bear.
Rob- Bear rocks!
Mr Food- and he has 2 cats and the one dog thinks it is the mother so he picks the thing up and carries the f*ckin thing around.

DO YOU THINK EMO HAS A PLACE IN HARDCORE AND PUNK ROCK?
Chris- i think it definitely does. it's just that like if there is a punk rock show and kids go and there is an emo band playing, they'll go outside when they play.
Mr Food- it's like the kids in the Misfits shirts and that is all they listen to and so they think any other kind of music is crap so they miss out on a lot of great music.
Sean- emo is becoming like the next thing. but i think kids that like emo music, even if it is getting trendy, are the kids are you actually into the music and now it is played and all.
Mr Food- do you like emo?
YEH, I DO, LIKE THE GET UP KIDS, BRAID...
Chris- mineral?
YEH, THEY WERE REALLY RAD, FINE BAND. PROMISE RING KINDA STUFF IS OK, BUT I DON'T LIKE THEIR NEWER STUFF.
Sean- i don't know what they are singing about sometimes, i try to figure it out...
Mr Food- "delawaaare.. repeat this line a couple more times..." that's all they do. it's like they sing about the grass growing in the field across the street and they keep saying it over and over. what do you listen to like the most?
POP PUNK I GUESS BUT I LIKE LOTS OF STUFF, EMO, HARDCORE, SKA, PUNK, WHATEVER.

SO ANY PLANS FOR THE FUTURE?
Sean- we are going out on tour again at the end of October for like two weeks. just tour alot, get our name out, Discount-style by touring.
Mr Food- not have to pay $300 to live at my house with my mom.

WHY DO YOU THINK THERE ARE SO FEW GIRLS IN PUNK ROCK AND HARDCORE?
Mr Food- what?! no way! hardcore girls are the f*ckin hottest!
Sean- in bands or at shows?
Mr Food- i think there is a lot
Sean- do you think Baby Gopal is a hardcore band?
UM, NO, NOT REALLY, MORE INDIE ROCK.
Sean- i want to plug Baby Gopal, is that alright?
Mr Food- you don't think a lot of girls go to shows?
Sean- i don't think a lot of girls go to shows either. little girls, like twelve year old girls go...
YEH, EXACTLY, ONCE THEY GET TO LIKE 17, THEY STOP.
Sean- i think little girls go to shows just to go, they don't go to see bands. ya know?
Rob- they go to see Doyle.
Mr Food- at this one show this one girl kept coming up to me and i was like "Hi!" she did it like 12 times. so i was like "why don't you go stand over there?"
Sean- he was really nice to her.
Mr Food- actually yeh, i am really nice, i don't like being mean. i just talk being their backs. i'll be like "that anthony annoyance kid is really cool", but when you go away i'll be like "what an @sshole! his zine sucks!" nah, i am just kdding.
Chris- you are a d%ck!
Mr Food- i am not! i kid a lot and then a talk a lot on the mike and these guys want to hit me.
Chris- we lose like 20 punk-rock points every time Doyle opens his mouth. we just lost 20 right there, making fun of anthony.

ASK ME A QUESTION EACH:
Mr Food- did you ever have a mullet?
NOPE, NEVER AT ALL.
Mr Food- you never tried to grow a tail when you were younger? how old are you?
I'M 24 AND NOPE, NO TAIL EVER.
Sean- if you see a midget do you think it is good luck?
UM, NO, NOT REALLY, JUST HAPPENS SOMETIMES.
Chris- do you like cottage cheese?
NO, NOT AT ALL.
Chris- would you ever date a midget?
WELL, I SUPPOSE, I MEAN I LIKE SMALL GIRLS AND MIDGETS ARE LIKE UNDER 4'10" OR SOMETHING SO MAYBE I GUESS
Chris- were you ever scared of Fraggle Rock or Clowns?
NO, I WAS QUITE A FAN OF FRAGGLE ROCK, FINE SHOW.

ANY FINAL COMMENTS, SLOGANS, WORDS OF WISDOM?
Rob- Doyle needs to talk less.
Mr Food- Rob needs to learn to tune.
Chris- i need to buy more immodium AD so i can go to the bathroom with ease.
Sean- i'd like to plug Kid Dynamite. yeh, that's my final comment, that Kid Dynamite is the best band out there right now. we're on a comp with Kid Dynamite on Victory Records.
Mr Food- this is stuff that someone said to me, they're like, they like the north Jersey scene but they are slowly starting to hate it because it is becoming so political.
Chris- and if you set up shows to pay for your car insurance, you're stupid. people do that. it's why shows are like $8 for local bands.
Mr Food- and touring bands should go on later in the show.
THANKS LANEMEYER, KEEP IT REAL!