metroschifter. a weird, strange, wacky band. emo? math-rock? who knows. all i know is that i thought it would be interesting to interview k. scott richter over email around December of 1995.
scott had this to say as a preface:
thanks again for being interested. a lot of times when i a zine comes out and i read an interview i did, i think i end up sounding rude or condescending. this is never my deliberate intention, so if any of these answers come off that way, i'll apologize in advance. take everything with a grain of salt. see ya, scott.
ANNOYANCE- I ASK ALL BANDS I INTERVIEW TO DRAW A WOMBAT, IF YOU COULD DO THAT EITHER BY HAND OR ON THE COMPUTER AND EMAIL OR SNAIL MAIL IT TO ME, THAT WOULD BE RAD.
Scott- i'm not sure what a wombat is, so i'll have to decline the invitation.
ANNOY- SO WHAT IS THIS OBSESSION WITH CLAUDIA SCHIFFER ABOUT?
Scott- she's really "easy on the eyes," as they say. this has not only made her very famous, but has also provided a generous source of income for her.
ANNOY- YOU TAKE AN UNUSUAL STAND IN THAT YOU SUGGEST PEOPLE COPY YOUR MUSIC FOR OTHER PEOPLE, WHY IS THIS? TO GET YOUR MESSAGE OUT MORE OR JUST TO MESS WITH THE RECORDING INDUSTRY? OR PERHAPS TO BANISH YOU TO ETERNAL POVERTY OVER NEVER SEEING A CENT OF THE PROCEEDS FROM THE MUSIC?
Scott- uh, we don't have a message, but that's the basic idea. the more people who enjoy our music, you know... what goes around comes around. or whatever.
ANNOY- SO IS YOUR NAME "K SCOTT RITCHER" OR JUST "SCOTT RITCHER?" IF THE FIRST, WHAT DOES THE K STAND FOR, IF ANYTHING?
Scott Nathan Ritcher- my name is scott nathan ritcher. k is a nickname that i got about ten years ago when i had a crush on a girl named kim calebs who signed everything k.
ANNOY- WHO'D WIN IN A FIGHT DANZIG OR ALL OF YOUR BAND?
SCOTT- danzig, of course. duh. what's wrong with you?
ANNOY- WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT PEZ?
SCOTT- it tastes like shit and hurts your teeth and you eat it out of a robot's mouth.
ANNOY- HOW IS THE LOUISVILLE SCENE THESE DAYS?
SCOTT- boring. what kind of question is that? how is your mother these days? (she's just great- anthony)
ANNOY- ANY PLANS TO TOUR ON THE EAST SIDE O' THE CONTINENT EVER?
SCOTT- no. we don't have any plans to play anywhere right now.
ANNOY- WHO IS CUTER: JUDY JETSON OR BETTY RUBBLE?
SCOTT- neither. hanna-barbera sucks.
ANNOY-WHO IS CARRIE OSBORNE AND WHY SHOULD PEOPLE JOIN HER FAN CLUB? (I AM GUESSING SHE IS THE FIRST PERSON TO SEND IN THE MONEY FOR THE PERSONALIZED METROSCHIFTER ALBUM, BUT I'M PROBABLY WRONG)
SCOTT- carrie was my girlfriend for about three years, not that it's any of your business. in issues more relevant to you, she wrote the words to the song "love" on our most recent record. people should send her money so she will have more and they will have less.
ANNOY-IS THE MISSPELLING OF "HAGGIS" AS "HAGGUS" ON THE S/T CD INTENTIONAL OR WHAT?
SCOTT- no. until now i was unaware that it was spelled incorrectly. thank you for your input.
ANNOY- WHAT INSPIRED THE ADDITION OF A FOURTH, FULL-ON MEMBER?
SCOTT- chad was in the band from the very beginning, but because we recorded our first album and toured all in our first month together, everything happened really quickly. chad just couldn't get off work. next was the acoustic recording which was just something pat and i wanted to do. so chad never ended up on one of our records until the third which was the foresight 7". but he has always been in the band since day one.
ANNOY- WHAT DOES THE BRAILLE ON THE BOTTOM OF THE INSERT ON THE "FORT SAINT METROSCHIFTER" CD SAY?
SCOTT- it says, and get this... "if you can read this, you're blind."
REVERSE INTERVIEW!! GIVE QUESTIONS FOR THESE ANSWERS:
ANNOY-I THINK I WILL HAVE TO GO WITH THE PLAIN CHEESE ONES, I MEAN THE OTHERS ARE OK, ESPECIALLY NACHO, BUT THE CRACKER NONSENSE IS JUST BAD.
SCOTT- what the hell is wrong with you?
ANNOY- IT IS A SYMBOL OF THE STATE OF PUNK ROCK TODAY, READY TO DESTROY ITSELF IN AN EFFORT TO BE AS "PUNK" AS POSSIBLE IN PART AND ALSO BY SELLING ITSELF AND ITS VALUE SYSTEM OUT.
SCOTT- what is quito, ecuador?
ANNOY- WELL, IT IS ALL ABOUT SHOULDER BAGS, SEPTUM RINGS, AND BLEACHED HAIR. I ALSO HEAR IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH ANIMALS THOUGH.
SCOTT-what affect did the french revolution have on european unity?
OK, NORMAL AGAIN.
ANNOY- THERE ALSO SEEMS TO BE A STRANGE OBSESSION WITH FLIGHT AND SPACE AND STUFF, EXPLAIN PLEASE.
SCOTT- flight is the powered movement of objects, animals, or machines through the air within the atmosphere. space is the area devoid of air which lies outside of the earth's atmosphere.
ANNOY- WHAT ARE THE GREATEST RECORDS EVER MADE?
SCOTT- those which you can listen to over and over and never tire of. those which affect you emotionally when you hear them. those by which you have shared special times with special people. those which are the soundtracks to feel good movies. those which have proven themselves as the greatest by selling over two million copies.
ANNOY- ANY RAD UNKNOWN, LITTLE KNOWN OR WELL-KNOWN BANDS YOU'D LIKE TO TELL ABOUT?
SCOTT- there are two relatively new bands from louisville that i like. they are The Loved and Elliott. so watch for them. i can't guarantee how "rad" they are, though. i don't think any of them surf.
ANNOY- DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? IF SO, WHICH ONES?
SCOTT- field hockey. most metroschifter songs are named after field hockey terms. i.e. link, marker, overlap, scoop, drive, etc.
ANNOY- WHO SHOULD BE VICE-PRESIDENT, IF IT COULD BE ANYONE?
SCOTT- the president's running mate.
ANNOY- WHAT DO YOU WANT ON YOUR GRAVESTONE?
SCOTT- my name, the date i was born, the date i died, and the phrase "what can i get for a quarter?"
ANNOY- ANY FINAL COMMENTS/ WORDS O' WISDOM/ ETC.?
SCOTT- god bless america and fuck the metric system.