This interview was conducted by mail with one of the greatestexisting bands, POUNDED CLOWN! One of the only bands these days to combine brass instruments with a pop-punk sound. The current line-up is:

DAVE-vocals,
HAL-drums,
Mike-bass,
ALLAN-sax,
Kenny-trumpet, &
ED-guitar

WHAT TYPE OF SNACK FOOD DO YOU LIKE TO KICK BACK WITH?
HAL- Pizza and beer.
RICK- Yogurt-coat
ED coffee beans.
ALLAN- Rubber balls and liquor.
ED- Deep-fried harp seal steak.
DAVE- Mini Popcorn Rice Cake.

HOW DO YOU SEE THE STATE OF BREAKFAST CEREALS NOW VS YOUR CHILDHOOD?
HAL- They cost too much. I liked it better when mommy bought 'em.
RICK- Got more shit in 'em?
ALLAN- I am a child.
ED- When I was a child, I ate cereal. Now I am a man......
DAVE- Not enough sugar in today's cereal.

HOW'S ABOUT A BAND SUMMARY (RELEASES, MEMBERS, ETC)?
HAL- I just released a big ole growler in the pot.
RICK- POUNDED CLOWN circa 1989 Sept. Beginning.
ALLAN- No.
ED- Been on about 4 comps on Very Small Records, 1 on Lookout! and a few put out on tape by snotty-nosed freeloaders from across the globe. These in addition to an up coming 7-inch as well as an out-of-print split LP w/ the HORNY MORMONS.

WHAT BANDS WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO PLAY WITH?
HAL- PANSY DIVISION, REZILLOS, BOSTON, FOGHAT
RICK- GROTUS, DUTCH FALCONI, MR BUNGLE, SPRAW, VOODOO GLOW SKULLS, FISHBONE, WEEN, FILIBUSTER....
ED- BRATMOBILE, MOIST, ROYAL CROWN REVUE, HANK WILLIAMS (Senior!), ICE CUBE, and any other band that I don't have to play with.
ALLAN- THE BOBS, MICHAEL SAMBELLO(sic?)
DAVE- Any big-hair bands.

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING COOL AND UNUSUAL?
HAL- Records, dumb comics, flyers...
RICK- Any items that glow in the dark
ALLAN- My girlfriend gives me shit and I keep it.
ED- Guitars and unrequited love affairs.

ARE THERE ANY PURPOSES OR GOALS FOR THE BAND?
HAL- To get down grandma's nighty and f*ck grandpa in the pooper
RICK- To secure a solid horn section of die-hard devotees down for playing and staying with us.
ALLAN- I don't know, I'm only a child. (see #3)
ED- To keep exploiting the underground for drugs and easy sex.

WHAT WAS THE FIRST PIECE OF RECORDED MUSIC YOU PURCHASED (CD, LP, 7", 8 TRACK, ETC)?
HAL- I'm Your Boogie Man- KC & THE SUNSHINE BAND.
RICK- SLY & THE FAMILY STONE "Luv & Haight" b/w/ "Running Away"
ALLAN- The Ghostbusters soundtrack.
ED- Master of Reality-BLACK SABBATH.
DAVE- Yogi Bear's Greatest Hits.

ARE THERE ANY PLANS TO TOUR EAST OF THE ROCKIES ANY TIME SOON?
HAL- With these jerks?
RICK- Only if we can get time off from our jobs at the same time!
ALLAN- We plan to play every town except that one beginning with "P" in New York.
ED- The Sensitive nature of our classified work for the government prevents any comment on that one.
DAVE- I will NEVER go east of the Rockies.

WHERE DO YOU GET THE INSPIRATION FOR YOUR SONGS?
RICK- From stupidity, which I believe is the most plentiful element in the known universe.
ALLAN- Cheese Whiz.
ED- Those special moments by myself.

WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO BESIDES THE BAND?
HAL- Womanize, masturbate, work, etc...
RICK- Play in two other bands. Work sucks too bad to mention.
ALLAN- I kill young punks who put out zines.
ED- Plan strategy for world domination.
DAVE- Hang out at my house in woman's underwear.

DO YOUR PARENTS ENJOY YOUR MUSIC (PLAY IT FOR THEIR FRIENDS, BRAG ABOUT YOU)?
HAL- They think it's ok for kid's stuff.
RICK- Naw. Only my brother and sister did.
ALLAN- They eat it up. (And ask for seconds)
ED- They like it okay. My mom hates Dave's singing.
DAVE- No.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE RISE OF THE "ALTERNATIVE NATION" AND SIGNING OF SO MANY BANDS?
HAL- More mediocre bands.
RICK- More of it needs to be done to cripple the corrupt music industry corporations not to f*ck with your right to be creative.
ALLAN- F*ck Subpop. Seattle sucks.
ED- Never really paid it much mind. Regardless of the fact that most bands that "go major" end up really getting lame, they don't owe their audience a life of poverty and poor distribution.
DAVE- Makes no difference.

THE ETERNAL QUESTION, WHICH IS BETTER, CHUTES AND LADDERS OR CANDYLAND?
HAL- Chutes & Ladders
RICK- Candyland. Definitely!
ALLAN- Yes
ED- Mr Mouth.
DAVE- Both suck.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR MUSIC?
HAL- Stoopid
ALLAN- Very carefully.
ED- I wouldn't.
DAVE- Cab Calloway meets the Ramones.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COMIC BOOKS?
HAL- Amy Papuda, Neat Stuff.
RICK- 8-Ball, Joe Matt's stuff...
ALLAN- I hate motherf*cking comic books.
ED- Beautiful Stories for Ugly Children, Reid Fleming.
DAVE- Hate 'em all.

DO YOU THINK CARTOONS HAVE GOTTEN BETTER, WORSE OR STAYED CONSISTENT SINCE THE DAYS OF YOUR CHILDHOOD?
HAL- Better. (see previous question)
RICK- Better; Beavis & Butthead, Ren & Stimpy, Simpsons.
ALLAN- I don't want to talk about it.
ED- No point in comparing. Cartoons have grown up and gotten beaten by life along with the rest of us.
DAVE- Stupid question.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE CHEESE, WHICH ONE?
HAL- Pepper Jack.
RICK- White Cheddar.
ALLAN- Whiz (see #12).
ED- Anything but Limburger.
DAVE- Dick.

WHAT ARE YOUR FANS CALLED?(EX KISS ARMY, DEADHEADS, ETC.)
HAL- Losers.
RICK- Fools! Poundheads!
ALLAN- Drunk.
ED- Occasionally a bit rambunctious, but on the whole a wonderful gang of attractive, polite ladies and gentlemen.
DAVE- Suckers.

ANY FINAL MESSAGES TO THE WORLD?
HAL- Eat sh*t and die.
RICK- Hang onto your ego and never let me down again.
ALLAN- God, we know mother earth's talking, and is going to clean up our act for us!
ED- All praise the name ED so that the spilling of innocent blood may be spared.
DAVE- Not yet.

Well, there you have it, folks, now go buy all their stuff and write them at: PO Box 304 / Sacramento, CA 95812.