this interview was done with joe selby of the Wynona Riders via email around may, ‘96.. they have been one of my favorite bands for many years, since i heard their track on the "Can of Pork" comp cd. so check out their junk on lookout! for some of the finest in pop punk.

CAN YOU DRAW A WOMBAT FOR ME?
Joe- I don't even know what a wombat looks like and I can't draw.

THE OBVIOUS QUESTION: SO DOES WYNONA KNOW THAT YOU GUYS EXIST? IF SO, WHAT DOES SHE THINK?
Joe- Ack! I hate that question. Read our FAQ on our web site: http://www.dnai.com/~standard/wr/meat/faqyou.htm
OK, WELL THE BEST ANSWER I COULD FIND WAS THIS:
"Has Winona Ryder ever come to any of our shows?!
Have you ever come to any of our shows? Or do you just sit there all day downloading transcripts of the Simpsons? When's the last time you got out of the house? Hell, enough interesting people come to our shows to keep you entertained if you're some kind of people-watching freak, and it shouldn't matter if she shows up or not. We're here for you, d@ckweed"
take it for what you will...

WHO ARE THE BIGGER COMPUTER GEEKS, YOU GUYS OR SICKO?
Joe-Well, the boys in Sicko (lovely fellows, great band) are all professional computer guys. They make their living doing that. Dave and Richie don't even know how to turn a computer on. Skip's really the biggest geek in the band. He is building web sites for Lookout! Records and Fat Wreck Chords right now. I'm just a dilettante.

WHAT MUPPET DO YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH AND WHY?
Joe-Well, I look like Scooter, but I always got the most psyched about Gonzo. Gonzo is the most obnoxious thing that Jim Henson ever created. He's loud, I'm loud, he's boorish, I'm boorish, he's short, I'm short, he's always chasing after girls.... You get the idea.

THE VOLTRON FORCE, THE G-FORCE OR THE POWER RANGERS, WHO'D WIN?
Joe- Voltron all the way.

WHAT IS PUNK?
Joe- Bullsh@t.

WHAT IS THE BEST COMMERCIAL OF ALL TIME?
Joe- Um, well, I think TV commercials are really lame, as a general rule. The best one I can remember is a Japanese ad for Olive soap with all these little kids bathing each other. They're all singing and smiling and generally having a good time and then they get in the tub/pool to rinse and one of them farts. The last shot of the ad is all the kids squished into the corner of the tub/pool as far away from the kid who farted as they can get and the kid who let it rip is standing there looking really embarrassed. I think I saw that when I was about 12 and it made me laugh so hard I almost puked.

ASK ME THREE QUESTIONS AND I WILL ANSWER THEM

Joe- When you go to McDonalds, what do you order?
STRANGE THAT YOU ASK CUZ I WAS JUST THERE NOT EVEN AN HOUR AGO. I GOT A SUPERSIZE STRAWBERRY SHAKE AND SUPERSIZE FRIES. AND SALT, THEY ALWAYS FORGET THE SALT. BUT NO KETCHUP CUZ WARM KETCHUP IS BAD KETCHUP AND WE ALL KNOW KETCHUP IS THE SECOND COMING.

Joe- Why did you want to interview me?
WELL, BECAUSE I HAVE LIKED YOUR BAND FOR ABOUT 4 YEARS NOW AND WANTED TO SEE HOW YOU THOUGHT, HOW YOU MADE SUCH MASTERPIECES. WHY YOU IN PARTICULAR? BECAUSE YOU EMAILED ME ASKING FOR YOUR WEB PAGE TO BE A LINK FROM MINE, SO I KNEW YOU HAD EMAIL.

Joe- What's your most closely guarded secret?
SEE, YOU USE THE PRESENT TENSE VERB "IS" THERE. SO IF I TELL YOU THEN IT, THEN IT WOULD NO LONGER BE MY MOST CLOSELY GUARDED SECRET, YOU'D HAVE TO USE THE PAST TENSE "WAS." AS IN "WHAT WAS YOUR MOST CLOSELY GUARDED SECRET?" GOT IT? GOOD. AND SINCE I AM NICE I WILL TELL YOU ONE: I ONCE GOT SILLY-PUTTY STUCK IN MY EAR AND HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL, BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE COMODIFICATION OF PUNK?
Joe- Uh, huh, huh, huh.... You said commode.

WHAT ARE THE 6 BEST RECORDS OF ALL TIME?
Joe- Aw, come on now. Who really cares what I think. I don't know. I can tell you what my six favorite records are this week, but that will change in a couple of days. I have lots and lots of records and listen to all kinds of music. Why does my opinion matter to anyone?
Fine. Here's my 6 fave records of the week, so far:
1) Jawbreaker - Bivouac
Great, underrated record. I don't care how unpunk it is to like Jawbreaker. Blake is god.
2) Gillian Welch - Revival
Buy this record now!!! Gil is a friend of mine who lives in Nashville. She's writes brilliant traditional country music and has had her stuff recorded by the Nashville Bluegrass Band, Emilou Harris, and lots of other folks. This is her first album and it rules.
3) MTX Starship - Love is Dead/Everyone's Entitled to Their Own Opinion
It's a tie. I've been rotating these two records with each other for months. Frank is a genius. If I could just decide to be in any band and it would happen, this is the one.
4) Here Kitty Kitty - Kiss Me, You Fool
The great lost art of Skip. If you can find this record, buy it. If you can't find it, oh well.
5) Bad Religion - All Ages
Yeah, well f@ck you.
6) The Nation of Wenonah - We Must Confront These Heresies...
Yup
Ok, so there it is. What good will it do you. I doubt you'll ever be able to find a copy of Here Kitty Kitty so you'll never know about that, no one who reads with will have the guts to actually buy a country record and listen to it, or admit they like it if they do, and the Nation of Wenonah record isn't even out yet.

WHO IS LEAST DESERVING OF THEIR FAME?
Joe- Everyone and no one at the same time. Fame is bestowed on us by the public. You cannot choose to be famous, only infamous. I want neither. Just give me the money.

IF THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY AND THE SNUGGLE BEAR GOT IN A FIGHT, WHO'D WIN?
Joe- The dough boy would go down like a submarine. He's squishy and edible.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SIMPSONS EPISODE?
Joe- The one where Santa's Little Helper gets sent to obedience school. There's a scene in there where he runs into the street and stops to sniff a ladybug. It's a really touching scene. Then he eats it. Perfect dog behavior.

DID YOU EVER PLAY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES? IF SO, WHICH ONES AND TELL US A STORY ABOUT IT.
Joe- No way. I like to live *my* life. I like to actually *physically* do things. Why would I want to sit in a room all day with a bunch of nerds and pretend to be a wizard or a superhero. Boring. I do have a lot of friends who are into this stuff though. It just baffles me.

WHAT IS THE WORST PLACE ON EARTH AND WHY?
Joe- Um, most of the time I think home is the worst place on earth. I don't want a home. I want to travel and see new things.

WHAT WAS YOUR WORST SHOW?
Joe- Opening for the Queers in SF last November. We just sucked like we have never sucked before or since.

ANY FUTURE PLANS?
Joe- To make records and tour. But not with the Wynona Riders. We have one more record coming out and then it's the big b'bye. We just couldn't make it work and we wanted to stay friends. Skip and I have a new band that will have a record out this fall and we may tour as well. We will have a big release on Lookout! in the spring and will definitely tour then.

WHAT DO YOU DO BESIDES THE BAND?
Joe- I'm an office manager for a big trade publishing company in SF. I also hang out with my friends and make a general nuisance of myself.

ANY LITTLE KNOWN OR NEGLECTED BANDS TO TELL US ABOUT?
Joe- Sure. 3 Years Down is a band that Dave, our drummer, plays in. They've got a record coming out soon. Very *rock*.
Um, there's a band here in Berkeley called Lunchbox that I like a lot. They have a few 7 inches out. Very poppy. Goes good with Sicko.
Another new East Bay band that I like is Action Slacks. Way cool.
The Camp-Fire Girls out of Pennsylvania are cool too.

FINAL WORDS/ COMMENTS/ THREATS/ ETC?
Joe- The views expressed here are not necessarily those shared by SKIP, Dave, Richie, Lookout! Records, or anyone else that I may know. ;-)

WELL, THANKS JOE AND GOOD LUCK WITH THAT FINAL RECORD AND TOUR AND IN ALL YOU DO!